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Breathe Slow

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If I breathe slow....will time slow too?

It was mid-April when I wrote those words. They are now echoing back at me...reverberating thru the mountains. I was in a time and space that was about a first wedding. It was about letting go of my youngest child as she was about to step into the big shoes of responsible adulthood. It was about anticipating the letting go of my eldest - who was about to take those same wedding vows at summer's end.

The summer I had imagined was one that would be sandwiched in between joy. I never imagined that this middle would be filled with sorrow. No one did.

And - here I am at the beginning of August. 

I've been breathing slow. I've been breathing faster than I ever thought I could. Time hasn't slowed. It slows for no thing and no one. Time only marches forward.

One finger at a time - I've found myself letting go of everything that I once held so tight and so dear. That I once believed would remain. Always. Just as it is. In the fantasy of forever.

Everything changes. If there's one thing in life we can always count on - it's that. Change is good. Change is hard. Change is a necessary part and piece of growing. 

I'm looking for a break. A break in the clouds. A moment of clear and clairvoyant sunshine. A moment of quiet. A quiet moment of peace.

I'm hearing my own words with new eyes. I'm reminding myself of what I wrote - in my innocence -  back before I knew what this summer was really going to be. 

The yogis believe that we have only a finite and limited number of breaths in a lifetime. If we breathe slow...we do slow time. Time does slow.

I'm breathing slow. I'm doing my best to slow that time....even if that time is time imagined. I'm savoring all that remains of this too-short and much-too-long season of this summer.

I'm choosing to take my sweet time. I'm choosing to sit and simply observe the swirling energy as it ebbs and flows and surrounds me. I'm taking all the space I might want or need.

Moving forward is easy. Standing still is hard. 

I may choose to show up here. I may choose not. I may get lost. I may get found. I'm slowing time.

And - I know - I'll return and begin again as I always have and always do.

In September.

Until then...


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Reader Comments (11)

Until then, my friend, and I will see you when you return. xo.

August 2, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlisa

I think of you often. Wish I had magical words to share.

August 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDebi Smith Kaitch-Jones

Beautiful Marcie. Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

August 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVera Bondy

Wishing you a month of slow breathing - you are in my thoughts.

August 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

One of your most powerful pieces, Marcie.

August 5, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPatti Rubin

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, as often happens your words woke my muse.

"If you reach to hard for tomorrow you will always find joy just beyond your grasp. If you hold too tightly onto today you will find you hold nothing, neither sorrow nor joy. Breathe in, breathe out be in the moment open to joy free to love and be loved."

August 5, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRobert Brandt

I just want to say that I love this. I love the story of breath and how it makes the warp and weft of the fabric that is your life. You are weaving in all the pieces aren't you. It feels that way...in these long hot days of summer. Long time now. Lengthening time on the summer porch to slowly let it sink into you. I am still too early in my grief to be putting pieces together but it will come in sweet time. Maybe when the rain starts and my tears feel like that rain. When I can't distinguish the rain from heaven and the rain from my heart. Such a process, grief. I wish you peace. I wish that peace might finally come to me too.

A warm hello on this summer morning,

August 5, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSusan Troccolo

Enjoy the break...I don't think we can slow down time, but I know I can slow down myself to enjoy each moment more.

August 5, 2014 | Unregistered Commenteranita

and we will be here when you do. hugs to you, Marcie.

August 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Beautifully composed post. Time does seem to be rushing by. Enjoy the break.

August 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPat

One just has to love your approach and accompanying photography. Perfect combination of pictures and words.

August 23, 2014 | Unregistered Commenteryvan

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